Often times, family law attorneys get questions that extend far beyond typical legal issues, including personal issues regarding the handling of a divorce. One of the most arduous events in a divorce involving children is making the decision on when to inform them of what is going on.
It is a stressful consideration for parents in the beginning stages of a divorce. It is important to note that there is no universal advice for this, and it is often dependent on the individual family and the age of the kids.
However, there are some general guidelines you should follow when breaking the news of a divorce to children. First off, you should time it right. You never want to hide a divorce from kids, so that it comes out of nowhere when something happens and a parent is no longer in the home.
Conversely, you do not want to tell them before you have a plan in place, as they will likely have a lot of questions about what is going to happen. Generally, you should tell your children about your decision to divorce after a firm decision has been made, but a few weeks before any major events happen, so that they have time to process the change.
Block out some time to talk about it together, and understand that they may want some time to themselves, and that if they do, that is okay. It is important that you and your spouse attempt to break this news to your kids together, and have a plan in place about what to tell them beforehand, as this is a very emotional process for all parties involved.
While it may seem hard in some cases, you should avoid blaming your spouse for the break-up of the marriage. It may seem logical, but pointing fingers can often make the situation worse, and will likely cause severe damage to your children’s relationship with that parent.
You should make sure that your children know that the blame for your divorce absolutely does not fall on them. This is especially true for younger kids who may not be able to understand what is going on as logically as older children will. It should be clear to them that this is an adult decision, one that you and your spouse made together, and that nothing they have done played a role in your decision.
Finally, you will want to do your best to create a sense of normalcy and stability for your kids. If the terms of custody and visitation have not been finalized, you do not want to discuss individual logistics with kids as it may set them up for disappointment.
However, you can still speak in generalities. Let them know that you will always be there for them, and that they can always talk to you regardless of living arrangements.
Informing children of a pending divorce is not an easy task. It can be very upsetting and emotional for kids and parents alike. However, if it is done correctly with care and careful thought, all parties involved can be better off.
Call a Tyler Divorce Attorney Today
If you are considering a divorce, you should contact a Tyler divorce attorney. The Texas divorce attorney at The Flowers Law Firm, P.C. stands ready to help. You can receive a free consultation from our family lawyer by calling us at (903) 965-2000, or email us at email@example.com.